There’s this great big deep breath moment happening inside of me right now. I can feel my lungs filling, oxygen moving, and I’m realizing how long it’s been since I tasted fresh air. The atmosphere I’ve been living in for quite some time has been dusty and stale. Maybe that’s my fault–maybe I became too comfortable, too at ease–or maybe I’d just forgotten what it felt like to surround myself with beautifully motivated people.
There’s this sudden charge in the air–and no it’s not the power lines grazing my kite string, although my hair does seem frizzier than usual. No, what I’m feeling is more synonymous with that stomach-stirring feeling you get before boarding a plane–you know, the kind of anxiousness that’s somewhere between panic-stricken need for the nearest restroom and wondering what your trip has in store as you gaze dreamily at the sky-scape and peruse a dog-eared copy of SkyMall. I’ve always wanted to purchase a Segway from 30,000 feet.
I’m feeling all of that now, though with more emphasis on the skyline feeling rather than the rancid meat one (the nerves are definitely there, though.) I’ve got this “I can do anything” buzz humming through me, and I’m not just saying that because PBS is my current background music and Fred Rogers is my life coach, dead or alive. (And he so is. Please, excuse me while I change my shoes.) Maybe it’s that New Year, New Me bullshit spattering the interweb like a zealous, boisterous fungus that grows anywhere and everywhere but can be removed with swiftness and a hardy dose of Penicillin. But I don’t think that’s it. Apart from the youthful escapades of “This is the year I get a date to Winter Formal,” I’ve never really been into resolutions. Well, not healthy ones. So, this isn’t that. This isn’t contingent on timing in the year as much as it is with timing in my life.
Maybe I’m just growing up. Maybe I’ve got an internal clock ticking in my brain set to monitor life goals and my body and brain are in agreement that the deadlines are fast approaching.
Whatever the reason, I’m loving this feeling. It’s welcome anytime.
It makes me want to stand on top of my computer desk and shout into my disaster of a bedroom, “Oh, Captain, my Captain!” Or throw my fist into the sky while Simple Minds plays speaker-smashingly loud in the background, and then I’ll take out one of my diamond earrings. After I purchase a pair of diamond earrings.
Come at me, World.
But gently, please, because I just got a second job, and I have a full schedule so I may need to pencil you in.